R.S., struggling actress and office manager for a shady "Erotic
Film Archivist" (you get it) writes:
Dear Pete and Andy,
I like
my job okay, but my boss is always telling me to do stuff. It's like I can't
get a break. Last week I went to the bank for him and when I came back 3
hours later he was freaking out, screaming that I had been gone too long.
Give me a break. Any advice?
Lazy in New York
Dear "Lazy":
There are two solutions to your problem:
1:
Forget about it and stop your complaining. I mean you probably
live alone in some god-forsaken outer-borough of New York, right? Riding
in quiet bitterness on the subway to work every morning, just PRAYING for
somebody to piss you off. I'm sure you've had boyfriends (from the tone
of your letter we assume you are a female) but I'll bet they didn't stick
around too long after they got a dose of your relentless whining about your
NEEDS and your "How come we never eat out anymore". Well listen
sister, nobody said life was gonna be a new cashmere sweater purchased wholesale
from Daffy's. Nobody owes you a living so get up off that oh-so-cushy little
behind of yours and get to work.
2:
Bring
the bastard up on discrimination charges.
Glad we could help.
Andy & Pete |
| |
Pete.S., a bitter, jealous computer animator, illustrator and 1965
Mercedes 220 SB owner writes:
Dear Pete and Andy,
I work
with this guy... Let's call him Andy. Well, he's my partner, My business
partner not my sexual partner, (although he does have a great ass). But,
well, all he seems to want to do is work on this web page thing, I mean
really the site is kinda funny and all, but really, we got work, clients,
bills to pay, drinks to drink... But all he wants to do is respond to the
"ask Slim Films", and the Weisroys, don't get me started, man
if I here "Beer Beer Beer" one more time I'm gonna scream, Hey
I like Polka as much the next guy but, really! There are other polka groups
out there! What should I do??? I've tried talking to him about this but,
he just snaps his teeth and snarls at me... He's loosing his mind, his girlfriend
cries herself to sleep, his mother is worried sick. His son has given up
meat in protest!!! WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!
Sitting Next to a Web-Monster
Dear "Sitting:"
Deal with it.
Andy & Pete |